Cordell & Cordell’s virtual town hall covers how to combat false allegations in divorce.
Cordell & Cordell Litigation Partner Dorothy Walsh Ripka hosts a panel of divorce attorneys from across the United States, including Kristina Cervone, Bennita Bullett, and Samuel Patry as they discuss how to respond during a family law matter when the opposing party lobs untrue allegations at you. The panel covers a range of topics, including the different types of false allegations that are common during divorce and how they differ, the importance of recorded recollection of significant events, how to collect and protect evidence, the difference between one-party and two-party consent states and how that could impact you, and more.
Cordell & Cordell is continuing to host monthly town halls to help answer the most pressing issues men face during divorce. Be sure to register for the next session. A recording of the town hall will be emailed to all registrants so you can still watch if unable to attend live.
April 26 is a special day because it is the anniversary of the day the United States’ first statewide equal shared parenting law was passed by Kentucky lawmakers in 2018. This law made 50/50 custody presumed or considered for children whose parents divorce or separate.
In 2019, Kentucky declared April 26 to be Shared Parenting Day, and since then Missouri, Arizona, Maryland, Massachusetts, South Dakota, and the city of El Paso, Texas, have joined in recognizing the holiday.
While that progress is heartening, much work remains. The unfortunate reality is that far too many states rely on outdated models to determine how much time each parent receives with their children. In fact, the National Parents Organization recently released its 2022 Child Support and Shared Parenting Report Card examining in detail the child support and custody guidelines in each of the 50 states and the District of Columbia and the results were discouraging. Just four states received A’s while 33 states were graded as a D or F.
Warren Farrell, author of “The Boy Crisis” and The New York Times bestseller, “Why Men Are the Way They Are,” has conducted in-depth research on the most effective ways to help children of divorce fare as well as children in an intact family. His findings have revealed four must-dos:
Equal time with both mom and dad (the most important)
Parents living within 20 minutes’ drive time of each other
No bad-mouthing of the absent parent;
Consistent couples’ communication counseling.
That research reveals just how vital it is for lawmakers to reconsider the child custody status quo.
Fortunately, several other states are working on passing additional shared parenting legislation that could help level the playing field for divorced dads. Here are brief summaries of pending shared parenting laws across the U.S.
Florida
Senate Bill 1796 has been sent to Gov. Ron DeSantis’ desk. If signed into law, the bill, in addition to ending permanent alimony in the state, would create the presumption of a 50-50 time-share of custody. Florida has been on the verge of modernizing its alimony and custody laws for years but has repeatedly fallen just short. With SB 1796, the Sunshine State might finally get the ball over the goal line. DeSantis also recently signed HB 7065, which includes educational programs, mentorship programs, and one-on-one support to encourage responsible and involved fatherhood in Florida.
Missouri
Pending in the Missouri legislature, SB 839 would codify a presumption of a 50-50 custody split unless a credible reason exists not to do so. House Bill 1974 also has been introduced, which would establish a rebuttable presumption that child custody arrangements that award equal parenting time are in the best interest of the child. These bills come on the heels of a setback in 2021 when several family law reforms died on the Senate floor.
Texas
After an equal parenting bill died in committee last year, Senator Bryan Hughes (Tyler, Texas) authored SB 1936, which allows for updates to the antiquated Standard Possession Order (SPO). In short, SPO schedules allow for children to be with the non-custodial parent about 20-24% of the time. The passage of SB 1936 allows that percentage to increase to closer to 40%. An Expanded Standard Possession Order (ESPO) is now considered the default so long as parents meet the required criteria. Although still not a true 50/50 shared parenting bill, this law has been hailed by shared parenting advocates as a big step in the right direction.
Ohio
Ohio House Bill 508 would make the presumed outcome in child custody matters that of Shared Parenting and an equal parenting time schedule. Currently, the state requires family court judges to order sole or primary custody to one of the parents if an agreement is not already in place.
Cordell & Cordell Fights for Fathers’ Rights
Cordell & Cordell has been an advocate for fathers’ rights since the firm’s inception more than 30 years ago. We are encouraged and inspired by the progress the shared parenting movement continues to make, but we also understand how treacherous the family court system can be for men and fathers, particularly when child custody is an issue.
Rest assured that the firm will remain dedicated to providing guys the legal resources and guidance needed to navigate whatever family law matter you are up against. If you need a divorce or child custody attorney, please get in touch with us to schedule a consultation.
The gut reaction for many men who are going through divorce proceedings is to leave the home they share with their soon-to-be ex immediately. While the temptation is obviously great and no matter how easy it is to justify — convincing yourself that moving out will definitely cut down on conflict and should certainly make the divorce easier — be sure to stop, think of the ramifications, and consult your divorce attorney before you make such a major decision.
Why is Moving Out During My Divorce a Mistake?
In certain situations, leaving the home before a divorce is final can severely hurt your divorce case.There are several important factors to consider before you pack up and move out, on both the financial side and dealing with custody arrangements if you have children.
Financial Consequences
For most marriages, the marital home is the largest asset. As long as the home was purchased while the couple was married, it is generally considered part of the marital estate. When determining the division of property, this piece of real estate should be considered in the division of assets. This may make it feel safer to leave, as your name is on the deed and mortgage and you won’t risk losing your share of the home’s value. However, moving out prematurely can lead to other financial complications.
Status Quo Orders
If the primary earner (or whoever pays most of the utilities, mortgage, and bills) for a household is the one moving out early, some states can institute a “status quo order.” This requires the party to continue paying the marital bills as they did before the divorce, which could lead the person to pay two sets of bills on the same income as they did for one. On top of legal fees, this can be a devastating financial blow that is completely avoidable if you just find a way to continue living in the marital home while the divorce is underway.
Spousal Support Rulings
After you leave the marital home, the bills continue to roll in. A court may order you to help pay these expenses even if you aren’t living there and have a separate set of living expenses to pay. Additionally, the parent who moves out will likely have more expensive alimony and child support payments to make, especially if not having custody of the children. This could make it difficult financially for many years to come once orders are set.
Damage to Your Child Custody Claim
Moving out of your home can significantly compound your divorce situation if you and your spouse have children. Before you make any decisions you can’t reverse, consider how moving out can cause damage to your child custody claim.
The parent who moves out has fewer daily interactions with the children when not physically present.
Safe arrangements for the kids are a must if planning to pursue child custody because the parent moving out loses leverage in a full custody case.
If seeking full or split custody, difficulties could be encountered when trying to obtain fair custody after the divorce.
A temporary parenting plan can offer some protection, but the absent parent risks being denied parenting timewith the kids if they are not living in the home.
Living outside of the marital home may make it difficult to enjoy overnight visits with children if there isn’t enough room or if staying with friends or family while the divorce is being processed.
To stay the permanent full-time parent, either remain in the home or take the children with you. If not, it’s imperative to have an agreed upon, and preferably family court-ordered, temporary placement schedule. Without an official schedule, you could wind up in a situation where the first person to daycare or school gets the kids — which is a horrible position to put your kids, negatively impacting your children’s lives. Consulting with a family law attorney if you plan to pursue custody is undeniably important.
Lost Access to Paperwork
If you move out of the marital home, you may lose access to important documents that were left behind, which can lead to complications.
Bank statements
Loan documents
Retirement papers
Financial documents
Previously established court orders
You can probably obtain some of these items online, but not always. If you forgot an important document, there is no guarantee you’ll be allowed back in — and no right to be let back in — if you leave the marital home.
What to Do Instead of Moving Out
In most situations, it is safest to try and stick it out in the marital home. You won’t lose access to your possessions or important records, and it will be a short time until you can leave securely once the divorce is finalized, even if you have lived with your spouse for a long while. Additionally, maintaining contact and communication may help with negotiations to settle the divorce faster.
And if you do decide to leave, definitely consult your attorney and make any custodial or financial preparations before taking that step out the door — it could save you a lot in the greater scheme of things.
Why Work With Cordell & Cordell
Cordell & Cordell realizes men face unique challenges during divorce, especially in highly contested cases. Our law firm has seen countless instances where men face stereotypical biases in courts and, while not malicious or even conscious, it happens.
To help level the playing field, Cordell & Cordell commits itself to helping our clients have a fair divorce experience. We’ve been championing men’s rights since 1990. Clients often select our law firm because they know we’ll aggressively fight on their behalf, along with that of their children.
Hear From Our Satisfied Clients
“Everything went smoothly. Alyssa gave me all my options and was always there and available when needed.” — Dale W.
“I thought the whole experience was very good. I wasn’t going to initially hire an attorney. To protect myself I hired [Cordell & Cordell]. [Attorney] Cassie made it a comfortable experience. The whole team was great. We got a resolution that I was comfortable with and it went quickly and smoothly.” — Joseph C.
Let Us Help You Get Your House in Order
The divorce process is an emotional and difficult time. In fact, it’s one of the most excruciating events a person can experience. In situations where two spouses are struggling over the family residence and child custody, it can be easy for the spouse who moves out to lose any legal leverage they have with respect to these decisions.
When you work with Cordell & Cordell, you can rest easy knowing you’ll have an experienced divorce attorney by your side. We’ll aggressively champion your rights as we represent you and provide legal advice along the way.
With a Cordell & Cordell divorce lawyer on your side, you’ll never feel alone. To schedule a consultation, you can either call our law firm at 1-866-DADS-LAW or fill out our online contact form. One of our legal team members will get in touch with you promptly.
The divorce process is usually very difficult and trying for anyone experiencing it. It is especially difficult if your divorce involves a child custody battle.
These difficult times often cause a person to act or react irrationally and in ways that detrimentally affect his child custody case.
You should be aware prior to court proceedings that the court will evaluate your behavior in its entirety throughout the custody proceedings as well as historically; always behave accordingly.
Below are some of the factors judges consider when making a child custody determination, along with the ten most common mistakes made by men during custody battles. This should provide a checklist of what not to do during a custody battle.
Best Interest of the Child Standard
To determine how not to behave during your custody battle, it is helpful to review the criteria used by the judge (“court”) to determine the appropriate placement of the children. The court is responsible for evaluating the situation to determine what placement and parenting time is in your child’s best interests.
Some of the considerations include but are not limited to:
The length of time that the child has been under the actual care and control of any person other than a parent and the circumstances relevant thereto;
The desires of the parents regarding residency agreements;
The interaction and interrelationship of the child with parents, siblings, and any other person who may significantly affect the child’s best interests, such as a new partner;
The child’s adjustment to his or her home, school, and community;
The willingness and ability of each parent to respect and appreciate the bond between the child and the other parent and to allow for a continuing relationship between the child and the other parent;
Any evidence or allegation of spousal abuse;
Any evidence or allegation of substance abuse;
Any evidence or allegation of child abuse on this or any other child;
Whether either parent is required to register as a sex offender;
Whether a parent is residing with a person who is required to register as a sex offender;
Whether a parent has been convicted of abuse of a child;
Whether a parent is residing with a person who has been convicted of abuse of a child
Watch Your Behavior
Whether you are fighting to be the primary residential parent or for weekend visitation rights with your children, the evaluation process by the court will encompass all of your behavior.
In particular, expect your children’s mother to point out all negative behavior during your custody battle. If you behave as though the judge were standing next to you each time you interact with the children or their mother, you will certainly avoid the pitfalls that will reduce your custody chances.
In reviewing the following list of what not to do during a custody battle, remember that children are wonderful mimics. You should expect your children to tell their mother everything you tell them. Knowing this, you should be aware of things said to the children or in front of your children that relate to their mother, as this can backfire when seeking custody of your child.
Conversations As Evidence
You should also anticipate your children’s mother hiding a tape recorder on or near her person when you interact.Recorded telephone conversations are common during divorce proceedings. In such cases, words spoken out of anger and frustration quickly become the rope that hangs the speaker.
Not all such recordings are legal in every state. Consult your attorney to find out if such a recording is legal in your state.
Technically, such recordings may not be permissible, but some courts will hear them for the purpose of evaluating a parent’s intentions and mental state. Do not be caught on tape saying things you would not say with the judge present.
It should be noted that any email or text message correspondence can easily be presented to the judge for review, so it falls under the same admonition. The admission of such written lapses in judgment is much easier since you clearly knew it was documented at the time.
This list is not exhaustive but includes some of the most common mistakes made by men during child custody battles. As child custody attorneys, it is crucial for us to help clients avoid these mistakes as we prioritize winning child custody for fathers. It is often an uphill climb due to the court’s bias against dads, but avoiding self-inflicted mistakes is critical.
1. Alienation of Affection
Children thrive best in a two-parent household whenever possible. If a parent makes it a habit to put down the other parent, the children feel torn and forced to choose one parent over the other.
This is very frustrating and confusing for the children. Judges are quite familiar with the damage this behavior can cause and are extremely intolerant when this behavior occurs.
The two most common forms of alienation of affection that get dads into trouble are: criticizing their ex-spouse around their children and keeping the children from mom in any way. This behavior can lead to parental alienation, which can have very harmful effects on a child’s life.
On the other hand, when the mother keeps the child from the father, parental alienation can occur, and that has serious ramifications.
2. Yell at Wife and/or Children
As covered above, assume all conversations are being recorded. When you yell at your former spouse or your children, it often gives the appearance that you are being abusive or bullying them.
Men are in a distinct position in this society where they are presumed to be dominating and more powerful than women (and, of course, children). That being the case, women are in a position to claim they are afraid of their husbands or the co-parents of their children. Whether their fear is authentic or not, the court takes such allegations very seriously.
Do not give her any ammunition for the court. A tape recording of a telephone conversation or an in-person argument will appear to the court to demonstrate you losing control and possibly becoming dangerous.
3. Have a Physical Altercation With Wife and/or Children
Making physical contact with another person in a harmful or offensive manner is a crime. Some states call that crime “battery,” while others refer to it as “assault.” Whatever the term, it is criminal.
You cannot very well care for your children while incarcerated. No matter how upset you become during these custody decisions, you must not make physical contact with your wife or children when you are angry.
If this is something that has occurred in the past, you need to recognize that you are susceptible to such behavior and leave the area when you become upset. It is much better to walk away from an argument than to be in a position where a visitation schedule provides you little or no time with your children or such time is supervised by a stranger.
There are many women who are abusive toward their husbands. It is no less a crime for a woman to be physically abusive toward you or your children. If you feel such a situation is going to occur, you should attempt to leave the area. If you feel the child’s well-being is at risk, you obviously would not leave them alone with her at that time.
If she hits, pushes, punches, or otherwise makes contact with you in an offensive way while she is angry, you need to call the police. Such behavior should be reported. The police will treat her the same way they would have treated you, and she will be arrested. Legislation related to domestic violence has increased over the years, and law enforcement no longer treats it as a simple family dispute.
Judges take these matters very seriously as well because physical altercations between parents confuse and upset children and do not provide a stable environment. Studies have shown that children who witness domestic violence from an early age suffer developmental challenges as well as life-long problems to their emotional well-being.
4. Move in With a Significant Other
Divorce is a difficult time for children. It is hard for them to grasp the idea that their parents’ love for each other can simply end. Things are even more difficult when it becomes clear that the love transferred to a person that is not the child’s mother.
Courts are reluctant to expose children to such truths. Judges do not appreciate children being exposed to new partners while a divorce is proceeding.
Moreover, children are unlikely to be comfortable around the new woman and may refuse to stay overnight or even visit your home if she is there. That will certainly prevent you from having a healthy relationship with your children.
The time will come when you are ready to start dating again after divorce, but until the divorce is final – and even for a while after custody arrangements have been made – do not expose the children to a new woman.
5. Criticize Mother to Friends, Family Members, Case Worker, or Guardian ad Litem
Keep in mind that your friends now are likely friends that were shared by both parties at one time. You should expect friends to still talk to both parties. Assume comments you make will get back to your wife. This includes posts you make on social media.
If a case worker or guardian ad litem is assigned to your case, be aware that they are looking intently for signs of alienation of affection. Do not let them see it coming from you. Focus on the good relationship you have with your children and how well you communicate. Do not waste time criticizing their mother. That is easily misinterpreted as alienation of affection.
Caveat: If the children’s mother is involved in illegal drug use or otherwise engaging in behavior that is dangerous to the children, this should be brought to the attention of the case worker or guardian ad litem and closely investigated. Be certain you have some form of unbiased evidence before making such allegations, or you again run into the problem of appearing to be trying to alienate the children from their mother.
6. Fail to Pay Child Support
If the court enters an order of support and you choose to ignore it, that is considered contempt of court. If the judge makes a finding that you are in contempt, you may be fined or even jailed for such behavior.
As a general rule, judges feel that paying child support is more important than any other financial obligation. Failure to pay child support appears to the court as a lack of respect for the court and a lack of concern for your children.
Obviously, it costs money to raise children. Child support amounts are set using several variables to determine what it will take for the child to continue to survive as the child had prior to the custody hearing. You may hire an experienced men’s divorce attorney to fight the support amounts ordered if you have a good cause. Still, until the court orders otherwise, you are responsible for paying child support as stated in the custody order.
If ordered to pay your wife directly, always keep a record of such transactions. It is critical that you can trace your child support payments in case your wife later denies receiving cash payments, for example.
7. Damage Property Belonging to Mom or Her Family
Property damage is often a sign of aggression that is building up in a person. Not only will the court make you pay to replace any damaged property, the court may also see you as a threat to your children due to such behavior.
8. Deny Communication With Mom When the Children Are With You
This relates back to the earlier topic on alienation of affection but may not always be as obvious. Even if you have limited time with a child, such as a couple of hours a week, you must allow that child to call mom when requested.
Children should feel free to communicate with either parent at any time. If your wife denies you contact with your children when you call, be sure to keep a journal of the dates and times so the court may address it if it becomes a problem.
9. Take Children Out of the Area Without Notifying Mom in Advance
If you have a family vacation or extracurricular activities planned outside the metropolitan area in which you live, be sure that you have notified their mother before you take the children. Many parents reach an agreement about vacation times with the children so that each parent has an opportunity to spend a week or two out of town with the kids.
If you leave the area without notifying your wife, it may appear you are attempting to kidnap the children. That could result in her obtaining emergency orders restricting or terminating your parenting time or custody rights. If at all possible, try to notify her in writing far enough in advance as possible so there will be no confusion when the time comes.
10. Remove Children From School or Daycare Without Notice to Mom
Temporary orders will usually designate parenting time but rarely include the time when the child is at school or in daycare. If the school allows you to visit the children over lunch or other times, you should freely do so as long as it is not a distraction.
You should never remove the children from school or daycare if you are not the primary custodian. Even if you are the primary custodian in a joint custody agreement, the children should remain in school or daycare unless you have a good reason to remove them.
Expect your wife to bring the judge a printout from the school that will show tardies and absences while the children are in your care. If you are not the primary custodian, removal from school or daycare may appear that you are kidnapping the children and could result in serious restriction or full termination of your parenting time.
As experienced child custody attorneys, we know how to win child custody for fathers. We also know what can be used against you in a custody battle, and avoiding the above mistakes can greatly benefit your case.
One of the most important steps you can take to help yourself in any child custody dispute is hiring a child custody attorney from a reputable law firm to help with your case. Family law attorneys who focus on men’s divorce and fathers’ parental rights, such as the lawyers of Cordell & Cordell, have a strong understanding of the challenges dads face throughout the process and can help position you for success in your child custody battle.
Why Work With Cordell & Cordell
Cordell & Cordell puts our knowledge and experience to work representing men and fathers in a variety of family law cases with a long history of success advocating for those who are often disadvantaged in the family court system. We understand the emotional toll custody disputes, divorce cases, and spousal maintenance cases can have, which is why we take a unique approach to legal matters that is compassionate towards you and your family and aggressive towards the courts. Take a look at what some of our previous clients had to say about our services.
Testimonials
“The fact that you guys got me a lawyer and a good one so quickly I was super stoked. I wish I had used you guys for my divorce. Josiah understood my needs, and he would talk to me after hours.” — Tyler H.
“Communication was really, really, really, good. I appreciated how I was kept informed throughout. They were always checking in on me to see if I had any questions or needed anything. Everything was great.” — Benjamin C.
“I thought the whole experience was very good. I wasn’t going to initially hire an attorney. To protect myself I hired you guys. [My attorney] made it a comfortable experience. The whole team was great. We got a resolution that I was comfortable with and it went quickly and smoothly.” — Joseph C.
Start Your Custody Battle With Confidence
With Cordell & Cordell, you can pursue a custody battle with confidence. We take an aggressive approach to your case, advocating for both you and your children to build a better future for all of you. Get in touch with our team today by calling 866-DADS-LAW or by filling out our online contact form to schedule an initial consultation.
Cordell & Cordell’s virtual town hall covers how to approach a divorce during inflation and other times when you can least afford it financially.
Cordell & Cordell Managing/Executive Partner, CEO Scott Trout hosts a panel of divorce attorneys from across the United States, including Matthew Crouter, Presley Davis, and Rachel Schmidt. The panel explores topics such as how the courts are responding to inflationary pressures many divorcing couples are facing, why it is often even more costly to delay divorce, what to consider regarding the timing for filing for a modification, modifying an order after a job loss, terminating or reducing support payments, and more.
Cordell & Cordell is continuing to host monthly town halls to help answer the most pressing issues men face during divorce. Be sure to register for the next session. A recording of the town hall will be emailed to all registrants so you can still watch if unable to attend live.
In many divorces, car loans are on long-term payment plans and cannot be refinanced into just one party’s name very easily. If your spouse is retaining as his/her sole and separate property a vehicle with a debt owed against it, and your name is on the debt, you should have concerns about how to protect yourself if your spouse defaults on the loan. Your divorce decree is, among other things, a contract between you and your ex-spouse, but it does not govern your creditors. Thus, a joint car loan continues to be joint in the eyes of your creditor, even if your former spouse is the party ordered by the court to maintain responsibility for the loan.
You do have remedies to protect your credit, which you may be able to incorporate into a divorce decree. Each jurisdiction has different requirements for enforcing the below options, so consult your attorney about these possible remedies.
A provision regarding repossession of vehicle for late payments
One possible protection you can seek for your decree is a paragraph stating that, if your spouse fails to make timely payments on the loan for “[x] months during an [x] month period of time”, you can take possession of the vehicle and trade it in to satisfy the loan. This may provide an additional incentive to your spouse to keep up on the payments owed, and provides you with a remedy for minimizing harm to your credit as much as possible if your ex-spouse fails to make the monthly payments on time. Many creditors for car loans will pursue repossession of a vehicle if the monthly payments are missed completely, but if your spouse is consistently making late payments but not failing to make the payments overall, this provision may provide you with more stringent protection.
“Hold harmless” provision
For a debt on which your spouse is taking full responsibility, such as a car loan, you can include language that your spouse “hold you harmless” for that debt- that is, your spouse agrees that you are not liable for the debt owed, even if it is in your name. This clause is important because you can use it to recover monetary funds from your ex-spouse if she/he fails to pay a debt your ex-spouse assumed under your divorce agreement. If a creditor comes after you for payment on a debt, you can use this clause to recover those funds from your ex-spouse as reimbursement. You can also ask for attorney’s fees if you are required to pursue recovery from your ex-spouse.
Contempt of court
If your ex-spouse fails to make timely payments on the car loan, you can ask the Court to hold her/him in contempt for failing to abide by the decree. The court can grant you relief, issue monetary sanctions against your ex-spouse, and/or award you attorney’s fees, among other options, if your ex-spouse’s failure to pay meets your jurisdiction’s criteria for violating a court Order.
Monetary judgment against spouse
If the creditor for the car loan pursues payment from you, you can pursue reimbursement for what the creditor recovered from you from your ex-spouse. You can pursue remedies against your ex-spouse with the court similar to a creditor. You can attempt to garnish your ex-spouse’s wages, put a lien on property in your ex-spouse’s name, and pursue other monetary remedies available in your state.
It is best to avoid the above situation by paying off any joint debts you can, but in cases where a debt cannot be refinanced or paid off, such as a car loan, you can take steps to protect yourself from your ex-spouse’s possible failure to make payments. An experienced domestic law attorney can work with you to craft a decree that protects your interests to the greatest extent possible under the applicable laws.
Husbands are presumed to be the biological fathers of children born during marriages, while boyfriends are not, regardless of the duration of the relationship.
Whether you are her husband or her boyfriend, you may presume you are the father of her child or children. You may be absolutely confident. But every now and then, you may want to confirm that you are the father.
When is it Necessary to Confirm Paternity?
She knows she’s the mother, but you might have doubts about being the father due to her infidelity. In the past, your only option was a court-ordered DNA test. This is because older genetic testing methods require samples from both parents and the child.
If the mother was uncooperative, a court order was required to draw her blood to get the sample.
Today, genetic testing can be done with only the child and the father.
If you believe that you are the father of a child, you should act immediately to determine paternity. Circumstances in which a legal paternity test might be necessary include the following:
You want to add your name to the child’s birth certificate.
You want to include the child on your health insurance.
You want to confirm the child’s inheritance rights.
Child support obligations and parental rights need to be determined.
The child needs access to Social Security or other forms of public assistance.
The child was born outside of the United States, and you want to confirm their U.S. citizenship.
Disadvantages of Court-Ordered Paternity Tests
A court order for DNA testing has several disadvantages. One is that some mothers will deny parenting time until the results come back. This is usually done on the grounds that the child should not bond with a man who the testing may show is not the father.
If this happens, courts rarely order this missed time to be made up. However, you may be responsible for child support during this time.
One more drawback of conducting a paternity test, even when you are absolutely certain of being the father, is that in the future, the mother may tell the child that you insisted on taking a DNA test to confirm your parenthood, which could damage your relationship with the child.
In almost any situation where you want to establish paternity, you will need a court order to address issues like child support and parenting time. Everyone can voluntarily submit DNA swabs, but you will still have to go to family court if the test results show that you are the father.
Ways to Determine Paternity Without a Court Order
You might want to reassure yourself whether or not you are a child’s biological father. While there are certain steps you can take to help narrow the possibility of paternity, such as comparing blood types and eye color, or calculating the conception date, there is no more precise way to determine paternity than using genetic testing through a DNA paternity test.
Can Paternity Be Established Without DNA Evidence?
A father can sign an affidavit stating that he is the biological father, commonly known as an “acknowledgment of paternity.” Both parents may sign an acknowledgment at the time of the child’s birth. The father can also acknowledge paternity by signing an affidavit after the child’s birth. This often occurs as part of a legal action filed in family court to establish paternity.
Benefits of Establishing Paternity
As a father, establishing paternity offers the benefit of certainty in that you do not have to wonder about whether you are truly the child’s father. It also ensures that you will be a part of the child’s life and may help to raise them as your son or daughter.
For a child, legal paternity establishment offers a wide range of benefits, including:
Two parents with legal rights and obligations to support the child’s well-being;
Life and health insurance coverage through either or both parents;
Inheritance rights;
Access to both parents’ medical history; and
The right to receive benefits like Social Security through either or both parents.
Can a Mother Refuse a Paternity Test?
A mother is not legally obligated to participate in a DNA paternity test unless a court has ordered her to do so. If a mother refuses to contribute her DNA, however, the paternity test may still proceed. Her DNA is not necessary to perform the test, although having DNA from both parents can strengthen the test results. Only the alleged father and the child need to submit DNA samples.
Why Work With Cordell & Cordell?
For more than thirty years, Cordell & Cordell has provided legal advice and guidance to men experiencing tumultuous custody issues. We have earned an A+ rating from the Better Business Bureau, the trust of our clients, and the respect of our peers.
Hear What Clients Have To Say
“He was wonderful. There was nothing to improve. [My attorney] just needs to keep doing what he does. He did an amazing job. He is really good at what he does. I will use him again if I need him in the future.” — Jonathon S.
“You all were wonderful to work with. I accomplished the intended goal and was pleased with the result.” — David C.
We Fight For Fathers’ Rights
Cordell & Cordell’s knowledgeable attorneys act as advisors and advocates for men involved in paternity cases and other matters. We provide diligent, aggressive representation to help protect men’s financial and family interests. Additionally, our firm offers podcasts, town halls, and ebooks as educational resources so that men gain a deeper understanding of their rights. To schedule a consultation to discuss your case, please contact the firm today at 866-323-7529 or through the online contact form.
Court-issued orders during or after divorce proceedings, such as a child support order or visitation schedule, are legally binding. Failing to abide by the conditions listed in the order can lead to you being held in contempt and will subject you to court penalties.
It’s possible to violate a court order at any time during the divorce process. Common violations that can result in contempt include:
Failing to pay child support or alimony
Not following a custody schedule
Ignoring a court-ordered asset distribution
However, in order to prove someone is in contempt, the accuser must show that their opponent has intentionally or willfully violated the order. Proving a level of disregard for the court order is key. To find someone in contempt, the accuser must show the accused party:
Knew about the order
Had the ability to comply with the order but knowingly violated the conditions
Lacks any valid excuse for the violation
Since the accuser has the burden of proof, it’s important you have sufficient evidence to support your claim before filing for contempt.
Example of Evidence Needed To File For Contempt
If your ex fails to allow you to see your kids during your prescribed parenting time, but the reason she did so was because she had a flat tire, then you almost certainly wouldn’t convince the court that she was in contempt. However, if she repeatedly comes up with excuses for not allowing you to see the children, and you can show that those excuses are disingenuous, then you will have a strong case for filing a contempt motion.
It’s also a good idea to send the offending party a warning letter before actually filing for contempt. The court will see this as an act of good faith and proof that you are not simply trying to stir up trouble with your ex. Include in the letter a clause specifically defining how they can fix the situation before going to court. For example, if they owe you child support you could give them a certain number of days to pay the support before you seek court enforcement.
If they continue to disregard the order, you can show the court you made a good-faith effort to resolve the issue without going to court, but the opposing party simply won’t comply.
Consequences of Contempt
Contempt can include both civil contempt and criminal contempt penalties that range in severity depending on the infraction. These include:
Typically, if the court determines someone is in contempt, they’ll give them a chance to make up for the violation. That might involve paying back support or giving the opposing party additional parenting time for failing to meet a visitation schedule. If they’re able to meet those make-up requirements, the court likely will not punish them any further since the entire point of a contempt action is to seek compliance.
If an issue like withholding visitation is an ongoing problem, the court can award extra time with the kids and even modify the custody arrangement, which requires the contempt charge to be filed with a motion to modify.
It’s generally rare for a court to issue jail time over contempt, although the option does exist. Usually, the threat of jail time is enough to persuade the offender to comply.
Some states will also issue damages on top of contempt sanctions to cover the losses that resulted when the other party failed to act. For example, if your wife was supposed to pay off a credit card so you could secure a loan for the business you own but she fails to do so, the loss of business would constitute damages that you could request she pay for.
How to File for Contempt
Filing for contempt is similar to filing for divorce. A new case is open and a motion is filed within the divorce case. Your ex-wife will need to be properly served.
Then at court, you must show evidence that contempt took place and prove that the violation was willful.
Before you file, however, here are some steps you should consider taking to be sure filing for contempt is worth the time and effort.
Read your decree: Read and re-read the language in your divorce decree so you are absolutely sure that a violation has occurred. Keep in mind you must prove your ex had the ability to uphold the order and intentionally ignored it. This requires solid evidence that will hold up in court.
Contact an attorney: Although you can represent yourself in a contempt action, it is a better idea to speak with an experienced family law attorney. Even if you opt out of hiring an attorney, seeking consultation can provide you with valuable information to help get an idea of your chances of success. If your case is successful, the offending party may be required to pay your attorney fees.
Propose a resolution: Your goal in filing for contempt is to get the offending party to comply with the court order. It’s often enough to just show your ex that you are willing to go to court.
File a motion: If you’ve exhausted all other efforts and your ex still won’t comply, you then need to file a motion of contempt form in the same court clerk’s office that issued the order. The court will ultimately issue a hearing date. Your attorney will handle this part, but you’ll need to research your local court’s procedures if you’re representing yourself.
Serve your ex: The offending party needs to be officially notified of the coming charges, usually by a process server. Once the contempt hearing is scheduled, paperwork needs to be served to every involved party.
Attend the hearing: At the hearing, the judge will hear evidence from the alleging side in addition to the defending party’s reasoning for failing to comply. After hearing both sides, the judge will decide whether or not contempt occurred. If there is enough proof, an order will be given specifying how to resolve the issue.
If you believe your spouse is intentionally refusing to follow a court order, speak with a family law attorney as soon as possible.
What is a Show Cause Hearing in Family Court?
Depending on the county or state you file, a “show cause hearing” may be necessary. Your locality may refer to it by different names, such as “order to show cause,” “rule to show cause” hearing, or a “motion for an order to show cause.”
Demonstrate the details of how your spouse isn’t complying with the court order.
Fill out any required court forms.
Request and assemble all relevant documents before your hearing.
Prepare to testify at the hearing to “show cause.”
Your spouse will have the opportunity to explain why they aren’t following the order.
Wait for the court to provide a final judgment on the contempt issue.
If your wife is in contempt, you can file this legal request to obtain specific relief and to get her to comply.
Why Work with Cordell & Cordell
The compassionate and understanding attorneys at Cordell & Cordell are firmly committed to championing men’s rights in family court. Founded in 1990, we are a community of talented legal professionals who focus exclusively on men’s divorce and family law. We are proud of our 94% client satisfaction rate and strive to provide high-quality service to each and every one of our clients.
Testimonials
“Communication was really, really, really, good. I appreciated how I was kept informed throughout. They were always checking in on me to see if I had any questions or needed anything. Everything was great.” — Benjamin C.
“All around he did exceptionally well for me. He got everything I was fighting for, he communicated with me well, and it was just all around a great experience.” — Dale D.
Hold Your Ex Accountable in Court
Divorce is difficult enough, but it’s even worse when your ex-spouse refuses to comply with a court’s order. Whether this is withholding visitation or, if you’re the custodial parent, refusing to pay you child support, we’ll help you resolve your situation in the easiest way possible.
If your ex-spouse continues her non-compliance with court orders, we’ll initiate contempt proceedings and aggressively fight on your behalf for visitation, child support enforcement, or any other obligations she’s neglecting to fulfill.
To schedule a consultation, contact us at 866-DADS-LAW (323-7529) or fill out our convenient online contact form and a member of our legal team will get right back to you. We proudly serve clients in more than 100 offices across the nation.
The Uniformed Services Former Spouses Protection Act was passed more than 30 years ago and has faced criticism by numerous veterans organizations ever since. The law routinely blindsides divorced servicemen and women who, after divorce, suddenly find huge portions of the retirement funds they’ve earned sent to their former spouse.
The USFSPA was enacted in 1982 as a means to protect divorcing spouses of military personnel. The law’s intentions were, and still are, good.
Military spouses make enormous personal sacrifices as they often forgo their own careers to travel with their husband, or wife, around the globe while on deployment. They often never put in enough time at one company to earn a pension or build any sort of retirement fund.
Even as employment opportunities for women have dramatically increased over the past few decades, some sort of financial safety net is still necessary.
However, the USFSPA, which treats a veteran’s retirement pay as community property, goes too far and often ruins the financial stability of thousands of American veterans.
Military retirement benefits are considered community property
Prior to 1981, courts disagreed on whether these retirement benefits would be considered separate or community property. After the passage of the USFSPA, they were deemed community property, and thus that money is now eligible for division during a divorce.
In many states, the statutory presumption is that all marital property will be divided equally between each party. The court can adjust that division based on a number of factors, including the length of the marriage, the age and health of each party, etc.
The USFSPA does not restrict the amount or percentage that the court may award to the former spouse. However, the Defense Finance and Accounting Service will not directly pay the former spouse more than 50% of the benefits. If ordered, the military member would be responsible for paying anything over that as if the two were civilians.
The USFSPA does not preclude the award of other support, such as alimony or child support.
The marriage only needs to have lasted at least 10 years during which the member performed at least 10 years of credible service for benefits to be subject to distribution (even though the military member is required to serve 20 years in order to receive those benefits in the first place).
The USFSPA gives equal weight to contributions
The USFSPA is littered with fairness issues.
For one, it considers the contributions to national security made by a military spouse equal to those of an actual military member.
As stated before, the sacrifices military spouses make are undeniably selfless, and even heroic, but should they be given as much credence as a soldier risking their life day after day on the frontlines?
Soldiers often face years of incredible hardship that results in severe physical, psychological and emotional damage. To say the spouse’s service was equal to that is, to say the least, a stretch.
Military retirees have no property rights to their retirement, but their ex-spouses do
Perhaps most confounding with the USFSPA is how it grants former spouses more protection than the actual military member.
A military member receiving retirement pay must always remain in compliance with the Uniform Code of Military Justice. They could face restrictions on employment and foreign travel or risk losing their benefits. If they are ever incarcerated, they could see their benefits reduced or terminated.
For a military member, these obligations persist for life.
Not so much for a former spouse. They can live wherever they want and commit numerous crimes without risk of losing their benefits, even though their service to the military and the military member end at divorce.
Moreover, because of the USFSPA, a former spouse can even remarry and still retain their right to their ex’s military retirement since the retired pay is considered marital property. This means that funds that Congress has appropriated as elements of the U.S. military compensation system are frequently shared by non-military personnel.
Other government and survivor benefits routinely terminate when former spouses remarry. Benefits paid to the ex-spouses of CIA personnel end upon remarriage prior to age 55 or 60.
The amount of retired pay a former spouse receives is based on the military member’s pay at retirement
The award of retired pay that a former spouse receives is based on the military retiree’s rank or pay grade when they retired, not at the time of divorce.
The justification for this is that the spousal influence extends for the life of an entire career. So if a Navy officer is a Commander upon divorce and advances to Rear Admiral over the next 15 years, the assumption is that the ex-spouse contributed to the officer’s career advancement.
Again, this seems like a hard case to make.
No formula leads to wide discrepancies
Finally, another fatal flaw of the USFSPA is that the law fails to lay out any sort of formula to determine a proper allocation of the benefits other than to say the spouse may be allocated “up to 50 percent.”
So this federal law is left open to interpretation to local courts and jurisdictions. This leads to wide discrepancies from state to state and even county to county in how the law is implemented.
We love to embrace our patriotism in the United States and brag about how much we “support our troops.” And yet this flawed, outdated law persists, denying many of our bravest men and women of the benefits they’ve earned by making some of the most difficult sacrifices imaginable.
Infidelity is obviously one of the most difficult breaches of trust to forgive in any relationship. While statistics are conflicting when it comes to how many divorces occur because of cheating (some list the number as high as 50 percent and others as low as 15 percent), the fact remains that adultery puts an extreme strain on marriages that can be very difficult to overcome.
When adultery does occur in a marriage, it innately creates a highly emotional and tension filled situation for both parties involved. The spouse who remained faithful will understandably feel anger, betrayal, grief and often the need to get some sort of revenge, while the spouse who cheated usually feels a pressing guilt and anger, either at themselves or misplacing the blame on their spouse for “causing” them to cheat.
Although courts generally do not put much weight into fault when it comes to divorce, this hostile emotional stew can make negotiating a divorce settlement much more difficult.
Women are closing the cheating gap
It has widely been accepted that men cheat more often than women largely due to the ability to separate emotion from sex. Meanwhile, women were seen to be less likely to stray because they required a more emotional connection, and therefore weren’t as susceptible to making an irrational decision based on mere opportunity.
However, new research has found that isn’t necessarily the case. Over the last 20 years, the number of cheating wives has increased by around 40 percent to a mark of 14.7 percent. Men have remained consistent at 21 percent over that time. While you must take any number that relies on self-reporting with a grain of salt, the fact that the number is increasing seems clear enough — and the reasoning makes a lot of sense.
The closing gap can be seen following a changing cultural and economic landscape. Now, women are much more financially independent than in the past, which means they are able to independently support the potential consequences of an affair. Additionally, a larger presence in the work force and advances in communication technology have created more opportunities for hookups.
Though men still have a higher chance of cheating in general, women are increasingly becoming the culprits of extramarital affairs.
Effect of infidelity on no-fault divorce
With the number of marriages ending due to infidelity somewhere between 15-50 percent, it creates many questions as to how this will affect the divorce proceedings. Unfortunately for all of the faithful who are splitting due to a cheating spouse, infidelity rarely has much of an impact on the divorce.
With the prominence of no-fault divorce, blame rarely has much of a bearing on any aspect of the dissolution. There will be no preferential treatment when it comes to the distribution of assets unless you can definitively prove that marital assets were spent on the paramour. Similarly, infidelity will have no influence on custody determinations so long as the affair was not paraded in front of the children.
Alimony has the chance to be affected, but that depends on your states laws and the discretion of your judge. A cheating spouse may lose their right to alimony if infidelity can be conclusively proven, even with a no-fault divorce.
Effect of infidelity on fault divorce
Some states still offer fault divorce, and adultery is often one of the grounds for this method. However, while seeking a fault divorce does come with potential benefits, it also comes with certain risks.
Through a fault-based divorce, one spouse essentially lays the blame for the deterioration of the marriage at the feet of the other. They must then back up this claim with hard evidence, which the “defendant” spouse will get a chance to disprove. If successful, the petitioner in a fault divorce can receive a larger portion of the marital property, a larger (or reduced) spousal support requirement and the ability to avoid the lengthy waiting periods of no-fault divorce.
Still, you must weigh whether or not the chance for a better settlement are worth risking the expense of extensive litigation. Most divorces are settled out of court to avoid the pricey process of additional court hearings and lawyer fees. Additionally, gathering hard evidence of your spouse’s infidelity can be costly. If you fail to prove your claim and your spouse is found innocent, the separation will be treated as a no-fault divorce and you will have wasted a lot of time and resources for nothing.
The level of trust breached by infidelity makes it very difficult to move past, meaning that any marriage where one of the spouses cheats risks divorce. It will be a highly emotional time, and while you probably feel that your spouse deserves nothing, do not expect the courts to feel the same.
As difficult as it will be, your best option is to put all those negative feelings aside and simply negotiate a settlement. You may feel that it’s unfair, but you aren’t going to get any more sympathy from dragging things out in court. Your best bet for moving past such a betrayal is to get things over with as quickly as possible, and move on with your life.
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