Key Takeaways
- Many individuals going through a divorce learn the hard way that moving out is a big mistake and can create irreversible damage in a court case.
- Men can harm their child custody case and finances by moving out prematurely.
- It may result in higher child support payments if one moves out too soon instead of waiting for the court process to play out.
- In most situations, it’s best to try to stick it out and remain in the home. If you must leave, consult with a knowledgeable divorce attorney right away so you can learn why moving out is the biggest mistake in a divorce in many cases.
The gut reaction for many men who are going through divorce proceedings is to leave the home they share with their soon-to-be ex immediately. While the temptation is obviously great and no matter how easy it is to justify — convincing yourself that moving out will definitely cut down on conflict and should certainly make the divorce easier — be sure to stop, think of the ramifications, and consult your divorce attorney before you make such a major decision.
Why is Moving Out During My Divorce a Mistake?
In certain situations, leaving the home before a divorce is final can severely hurt your divorce case. There are several important factors to consider before you pack up and move out, on both the financial side and dealing with custody arrangements if you have children.
Financial Consequences
For most marriages, the marital home is the largest asset. As long as the home was purchased while the couple was married, it is generally considered part of the marital estate. When determining the division of property, this piece of real estate should be considered in the division of assets. This may make it feel safer to leave, as your name is on the deed and mortgage and you won’t risk losing your share of the home’s value. However, moving out prematurely can lead to other financial complications.
Status Quo Orders
If the primary earner (or whoever pays most of the utilities, mortgage, and bills) for a household is the one moving out early, some states can institute a “status quo order.” This requires the party to continue paying the marital bills as they did before the divorce, which could lead the person to pay two sets of bills on the same income as they did for one. On top of legal fees, this can be a devastating financial blow that is completely avoidable if you just find a way to continue living in the marital home while the divorce is underway.
Spousal Support Rulings
After you leave the marital home, the bills continue to roll in. A court may order you to help pay these expenses even if you aren’t living there and have a separate set of living expenses to pay. Additionally, the parent who moves out will likely have more expensive alimony and child support payments to make, especially if not having custody of the children. This could make it difficult financially for many years to come once orders are set.
Damage to Your Child Custody Claim
Moving out of your home can significantly compound your divorce situation if you and your spouse have children. Before you make any decisions you can’t reverse, consider how moving out can cause damage to your child custody claim.
- The parent who moves out has fewer daily interactions with the children when not physically present.
- Safe arrangements for the kids are a must if planning to pursue child custody because the parent moving out loses leverage in a full custody case.
- If seeking full or split custody, difficulties could be encountered when trying to obtain fair custody after the divorce.
- A temporary parenting plan can offer some protection, but the absent parent risks being denied parenting time with the kids if they are not living in the home.
- Living outside of the marital home may make it difficult to enjoy overnight visits with children if there isn’t enough room or if staying with friends or family while the divorce is being processed.
Once assigned child support payments, it can be difficult to find an appropriately large enough home if you’re struggling to make ends meet.
To stay the permanent full-time parent, either remain in the home or take the children with you. If not, it’s imperative to have an agreed upon, and preferably family court-ordered, temporary placement schedule. Without an official schedule, you could wind up in a situation where the first person to daycare or school gets the kids — which is a horrible position to put your kids, negatively impacting your children’s lives. Consulting with a family law attorney if you plan to pursue custody is undeniably important.
Lost Access to Paperwork
If you move out of the marital home, you may lose access to important documents that were left behind, which can lead to complications.
- Bank statements
- Loan documents
- Retirement papers
- Financial documents
- Previously established court orders
You can probably obtain some of these items online, but not always. If you forgot an important document, there is no guarantee you’ll be allowed back in — and no right to be let back in — if you leave the marital home.
What to Do Instead of Moving Out
In most situations, it is safest to try and stick it out in the marital home. You won’t lose access to your possessions or important records, and it will be a short time until you can leave securely once the divorce is finalized, even if you have lived with your spouse for a long while. Additionally, maintaining contact and communication may help with negotiations to settle the divorce faster.
And if you do decide to leave, definitely consult your attorney and make any custodial or financial preparations before taking that step out the door — it could save you a lot in the greater scheme of things.
Why Work With Cordell & Cordell
Cordell & Cordell realizes men face unique challenges during divorce, especially in highly contested cases. Our law firm has seen countless instances where men face stereotypical biases in courts and, while not malicious or even conscious, it happens.
To help level the playing field, Cordell & Cordell commits itself to helping our clients have a fair divorce experience. We’ve been championing men’s rights since 1990. Clients often select our law firm because they know we’ll aggressively fight on their behalf, along with that of their children.
Hear From Our Satisfied Clients
“Everything went smoothly. Alyssa gave me all my options and was always there and available when needed.” — Dale W.
“I thought the whole experience was very good. I wasn’t going to initially hire an attorney. To protect myself I hired [Cordell & Cordell]. [Attorney] Cassie made it a comfortable experience. The whole team was great. We got a resolution that I was comfortable with and it went quickly and smoothly.” — Joseph C.
Let Us Help You Get Your House in Order
The divorce process is an emotional and difficult time. In fact, it’s one of the most excruciating events a person can experience. In situations where two spouses are struggling over the family residence and child custody, it can be easy for the spouse who moves out to lose any legal leverage they have with respect to these decisions.
When you work with Cordell & Cordell, you can rest easy knowing you’ll have an experienced divorce attorney by your side. We’ll aggressively champion your rights as we represent you and provide legal advice along the way.
With a Cordell & Cordell divorce lawyer on your side, you’ll never feel alone. To schedule a consultation, you can either call our law firm at 1-866-DADS-LAW or fill out our online contact form. One of our legal team members will get in touch with you promptly.
Frequently Asked Questions
Whoever is on the title can stay in the home — if both are listed, you can both legally stay. If one spouse isn’t on the title, they may still have a right based on community property and contributions during marriage. This often boils down to individual state divorce laws.
Even if you do move out of your home, you usually won’t lose ownership. What you might lose are any rights associated with the property, including possessions, upkeep, remodeling, and other home-related decisions. You also won’t be able to come and go as you please since, even though you own the home, you’ll have to respect your ex-spouse’s right to privacy.
In most cases, your spouse cannot force you to move out during the divorce. It may only occur with the issuing of court orders and in other specific circumstances, such as domestic violence, threats, and safety concerns.
Written by Joseph E. Cordell
Joseph E. Cordell is the Principal Partner at Cordell and Cordell, P.C., which he founded in 1990 with his wife, Yvonne. Over the past 25 years, the firm has grown to include more than 100 offices in 30 states, as well as internationally in the United Kingdom. Mr. Cordell is licensed to practice in the states of Illinois and Missouri and received his LL.M. from Washington University in St. Louis, Missouri. Joseph E. Cordell was named one of the Top 10 Best Family Law Attorneys for Client Satisfaction in Missouri.
