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Tips for surviving a divorce

The process of divorce is hard on both spouses, with each individual trying to maintain a level of sanity and composure when dealing with the separation from their ex-wife or husband.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the marriage rate in the U.S. is currently 6.8 per 1,000 total population, and thedivorce rate is 3.4 per 1,000 total population.

The Western Mail reported that couples should realize that both individuals are not going to move through the process at the same speed. One spouse may take the split in a much different way than the other, and this necessitates a level of understanding.

Children can also get involved in the process, and the former couple needs to maintain a certain level of civility in order to prevent damage to their notion of relationships and love. Limiting verbal discourse against the other spouse is a way that parents can help their kids adjust to the split while still retaining a positive image of their mother and father, according to the news source.

Helping children cope with divorce

A divorce can have a significant impact on all involved parties, as the former husband and wife are not the only ones who can be affected by this split. Children can suffer as a result of the termination of marriage for their parents.

According to an article submitted to the Abilene Reporter News, children can often get caught in the middle of a divorce and may be affected by the breakdown of their parent’s relationship.

The news source reported that parents need to maintain civility in dealing with each other after a split, regardless of their new feelings, as a way of keeping children in a mentally stable state.

“Divorce is a loss for a child, much like a death is,” Aimee Colley, director of Club Courage, told the news source. “I would say the top indicator for telling if children will adjust is parental adjustment.”

Club Courage is an affiliate of Hendrick Hospice Care and provides children with a support group when dealing with the process in order to help them share their experience with kids in the same situation, according to the organization’s website.

Divorce parties a growing trend among Americans

A new trend is catching on among recent divorcees, as these individuals are holding break-up parties to celebrate the end of their marriage, according to CBS Los Angeles.

While some people may find this practice odd, many recent divorcees note that the celebration serves as a way to acknowledge the past but move on to the new life that will await post-divorce, the news source reported.

One News Now reported that the increasingly popular ritual is becoming a trend because of the horrific nature of many divorces, and this is a celebration of the process finally coming to a close.

“I think human beings need rituals. We need ceremonies to mark things,” Christine Gallagher, a divorce party planner, told CBS Los Angeles. “Divorce is tough. It really is a hard time and the idea of a divorce party is to have an event to have your family and friends come around and help you through this really difficult time.”

According to the news source, although some parties are over-the-top and extravagant, most gatherings are made up of a small circle of friends and family and act as an organized support group.

Divorce support group helps ease the pain

Members of the Orange County community, as well as neighborhoods around the country, are affected by divorce every day, but sometimes guidance and support is hard to find. But the Newport Beach Independent reports that a local church is opening its doors to host a divorce support group.

The Divorce Recovery Workshop (DRW) has been held twice a year since 1981 at St. Andrew’s Presbyterian Church and more than 15,000 people have benefited from the program.

“People are very vulnerable, and can be very shy and scared at first,” participant Gary Harber, who is currently a program facilitator, told the news source. “St. Andrew’s gives us a nice, huge comfortable room; it’s a safe environment to come to. DRW is a positive thing to do with a negative.”

DRW educates and supports people going through divorces through lectures and small group activities.

According to the Superior Court of California in Orange County, sometimes divorces proceed even though one partner does not want the relationship to end. One spouse cannot block the divorce process. Instead, non-participation could lead to default judgment.

Leave financial advice to the divorce professionals

A divorce can be a complicated minefield of emotional and financial issues, and it is important to seek support from those around you. While family and friends can offer a shoulder to cry on or a helping hand, spouses going through a divorce should look to experts when it comes to the financial aspect of the separation.

According to Forbes contributor Jeff Landers, these tidbits of advice can be detrimental if they regard finances. Sticking exclusively to words of wisdom from others can be dangerous, because every divorce is different, and legal experts and divorce lawyers are trained to know this realm best.

“Each case needs personalized attention and, given the complexities of today’s divorce and finance laws, each one requires much more than an assortment of free tips and casual recommendations,” writes Landers.

Another issue to be wary of is information from non-divorce professionals. For example, while CPAs may be experts in accounting, they may not be able to advise separating spouses on divorce-specific financial concerns.

According to the Oregonian, choosing a financial adviser should be a similar process to selecting a doctor. Considering specific needs, learning a professional’s credentials and specialties and understanding goals can lead to the best results.