When a marriage falls apart, it can be easy to personally fall apart with it. But Sarah Kelsey, an editor for the Huffington Post, explains that people going through a divorce can dwell on the deaths of their relationships or take steps to heal.

One of the first steps to gracefully navigate life after a divorce is to cancel your plans, Kelsey explains. Life rarely works out the way one thinks it will, so people are better off enjoying the moments and not remembering all of the plans they put in place while they were married.

Admitting personal shortcomings can also lead people down the path to post-divorce redemption. No one is perfect, and admitting faults can help one figure out how or why a relationship crumbled so the same mistakes won’t be made again.

However, Kelsey warns that people should not entirely blame themselves for a divorce. It may be beneficial to forgive an ex-spouse, but it is sometimes even better to forgive one’s self.

It is important to remember that divorced adults are allowed to date, and to love again. Ask Men just advises that people don’t rush into anything.

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