relationships Archives - Cordell & Cordell

Staying in touch with a childs ex-spouse

The parents of each spouse can easily become involved in the lives of the newlyweds, as a relationship may grow due to the amount of time that one spends with the couple. However, when they divorce, drama can occur.

Linda Lipshutz, a marriage and family therapist, wrote an article for the Huffington Post describing the potential damage that may occur if a parent tries to maintain a relationship with their child’s ex.

According to the article, a parent has to walk the fine line of deciding whether to maintain the bond with the ex-spouse of their child, especially if this will alienate the son or daughter of this individual.

Lipshutz noted that many parents feel a deep bond with their child’s ex, and have a hard time accepting that it is over, especially if they like the individual.

According to Divorce Community, a mother and father have to realize that the same things apply for the divorcees and the parents of these individuals, as the individuals who are involved in the split need to be treated with sensitivity.

Tips for surviving a divorce

The process of divorce is hard on both spouses, with each individual trying to maintain a level of sanity and composure when dealing with the separation from their ex-wife or husband.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the marriage rate in the U.S. is currently 6.8 per 1,000 total population, and thedivorce rate is 3.4 per 1,000 total population.

The Western Mail reported that couples should realize that both individuals are not going to move through the process at the same speed. One spouse may take the split in a much different way than the other, and this necessitates a level of understanding.

Children can also get involved in the process, and the former couple needs to maintain a certain level of civility in order to prevent damage to their notion of relationships and love. Limiting verbal discourse against the other spouse is a way that parents can help their kids adjust to the split while still retaining a positive image of their mother and father, according to the news source.

Study highlights effects of divorce on young adults intimate relationships

A significant amount of research has accumulated concerning the potential long-term damage that can be done by a divorce on the psyche of a young adult looking to start a relationship.

A recent Finnish study that was published in the Journal of Family Psychology found that teens whose parents divorced may have trouble with developing intimate relationships as an adult.

Researchers from Finland’s National Institute for Health and Welfare and the University of Helsinki conducted a second study that examined the individuals 16 years after their parents were divorced.

According to the Huffington Post, the 1,471 people that were studied originally were examined again at the age of 32, and researchers found that the children who experienced a divorce of their parents were less likely to remain married. This data lined up with previous work done on the subject.

Professor Robert Hughes, Jr., writing for the Post, noted that the findings showed a direct correlation between a divorce and the mother-daughter relationship. This was generally undermined if parents split, and the girl was more likely to experience the same result in her own relationships.

Divorce parties a growing trend among Americans

A new trend is catching on among recent divorcees, as these individuals are holding break-up parties to celebrate the end of their marriage, according to CBS Los Angeles.

While some people may find this practice odd, many recent divorcees note that the celebration serves as a way to acknowledge the past but move on to the new life that will await post-divorce, the news source reported.

One News Now reported that the increasingly popular ritual is becoming a trend because of the horrific nature of many divorces, and this is a celebration of the process finally coming to a close.

“I think human beings need rituals. We need ceremonies to mark things,” Christine Gallagher, a divorce party planner, told CBS Los Angeles. “Divorce is tough. It really is a hard time and the idea of a divorce party is to have an event to have your family and friends come around and help you through this really difficult time.”

According to the news source, although some parties are over-the-top and extravagant, most gatherings are made up of a small circle of friends and family and act as an organized support group.

Could infidelity actually make marriages stronger?

For many couples, infidelity is grounds for divorce. However, some relationships can survive these betrayals of trust and according to Wendy Strgar of the Huffington Post, some marriages are actually made stronger.

Strgar acknowledges that infidelities can be devastating.

“The betrayal cuts deep and shreds not only the trust between the couple, but often the ability to trust one’s own judgment and the agreements that we believed defined our lives,” she wrote.

However, affairs can also serve as a wake-up call. As couples recover from an exposed infidelity and decide what the next steps for their relationships will be, adults must make room for honest conversations – which may not have been part of the relationship beforehand.

“The recovery process is rich with the opportunity to really see aspects of your partner and depths in your relationship of which you were probably unaware,” Strgar explained.

According to the blog How to Survive Infidelity in Marriage, many steps can be taken to help couples survive an affair. For one, asking questions can often be an emotional yet necessary fact-finding mission. Finding comfort from a friend can also be beneficial for a jilted spouse, as conversing with this trusted confidant can help an adult truly sort out feelings relating to the affair and the future of the marriage.