When divorced parents share custody of a child, planning milestones like birthday parties, graduation celebrations, weddings and other other momentous occasions can be an emotional and logistical nightmare, according to Huffington Post contributor Monica Medina.

Medina recently faced a difficult situation as her ex-husband planned her son’s Bar Mitzvah, an important rite of passage for the Jewish community. Drama with her ex-husband’s new girlfriend, feeling slighted by the invitation, a lack of communication and other issues made the event-planning unpleasant for both parents.

In the end, Medina found that all of the issues encountered during the planning of her son’s Bar Mitzvah, which eventually ended in the cancellation of the party, only hurt her child.

When parents end up in disagreement over party planning, or any other child custody issue for that matter, Help Guide suggests that parents remember how far respect can go. Being considerate to one another can help make a child’s special day more successful. Additionally, the parents can plan better events if they avoid sweating the small stuff and stick to the important issues. Lastly, compromise is a must.

“You will need to come around to your ex-spouse’s point of view as often as he or she comes around to yours,” explains the site.

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